Wasteman, the Gnar Cluster-Fucks

So up on the wasteman facebook group, one of our members named Barry posted some homebrewed solo dungeon delving rules for the game. Titled WasteCluster it deals with a small posse delving into various indoor areas known as Clusters in the pursuit of fame and fortune, on missions ordained by the Lunar Coalition or local crime lords. Likewise it also features a nice list of various venues and traders you can visit post-game, to buy better equipment, get treatment for wounds and such.

Wanting to use my black goblins for something, I like the idea of them being visitors from the adjacent medieval realm of GNAR. I choose my boss roster to be Battle Priests of Gnar, since I do like the idea of them roaming to these alternate worlds in search of blood and glory for their furious world-devouring god. Sadly due to point restrictions, I had to swap some of them out, so I dont get to field my awesome battle priest Skragg the Omnious.

Instead I went for a smaller posse, totaling 295 points, consisting of the following:

Arrakhar Grimhandle, equipped with a Great Weapon and Plate Armour. He is an Indomitable Knight
Skorn Shieldsmasher, equipped with a Mace, Shield and Studded Leather.
Gordo Vilehand, equipped with a Mace and Studded Leather, he is also Insolent.
Wilhelm/Theodor, a gnarly pilgrim in a Habit with Fists of Fury. He is a Two-Headded Mutant
Brother Albie, another pilgrim with a Mace and Habit. He is also both a Mutant and a Cannibal.

Being a gang of violent crusaders wishing to spread the word and domain of their god, they sought alternate worlds to conquer. And while many of the dimensional guides known as Gnarly Pilgrims had differing views on the whole baptize the world in blood and fire to sate our alien god, Albie's odd eating habits and Wilhelm/Theodor's violent mood swings (or well mostly Theodors, Wilhelm is a gentle soul) had already put them at odds with their order. So why not bail and join in on some proper glory. Roaming around, often dismissed as yet another group of murder hobos, they finally found employ under a local gang lord who had some exotic culinary specimen escape their holdings, so sure send in the over-eager newbies, if they don't resolve the matter, then at least his animals are getting fed.

I used Imperial Assault tiles to represent the parts of this establishment, laying it out on my sweet wasteman playmat just to spare you all from the myriad of floral patterns beneath it. I am hunting for the dangerous Gribley Wibley, hiding somewhere in here.

And I ofcourse draw my hand of five M.A.D. cards. And its a nice selection. Blown Mind can clear out a lot of small riff raff while also hurting my own guys. Moojuice can give my fellows a nice calcium shot and fix those brittle bones. Pain Killer can be used to fight on despite injuries, which is huge as my posse does not include a medic. Mutant Mutilator can raise on of my mutants to maximum power for one attack. And Eldritch Madness can turn enemies on each other, perfect if the Wibley shows up with reinforcements.

 Whats behind door number 1? Pff, these are mere warmups. "Hold my mead!" Arrakhar exclaims as he charges in with his great weapon.

Sadly a lot of bluster turns out into nothing, as Arrakhar both misses and is the taken out by a surprise blow as the critters swarm him.

Arrakhar's comrades lead a quite unconvincing counter charge as he is left grimacing on the ground. But a quick shot of Pain Killers and he is back on his feed to help them root out this mess.

Like this you fools! BRING THE PAIN! GLORY TO GNAR! In the heat of the battle, consisting mostly of trying to swat large squirming critters using spikey bludgeons, sadly more feet were bashes and curses howled than actual enemies hit. Both Arrakhar and Gordo ended up with broken bones due to overeager friends.

Regardless it was a victory none the less, and they proceeded to hobble their way over to the next door. Now that practice was out of the way, it was time for some proper crushing!

And behind door number 2 is... "Oi! wheres the sacrifices to Gnar?"

"Erm boss?" 

In his semi-valiant defense of their rear, Skorn had raised his shield to withstand the many blows bound to come his way, and while surviving, he too did get crippled. But his firm stand allowed Wilhelm/Theodor and Arrakhar to chop down the remaining critters.

Facing the prospect of fighting even more creatures in their current state, Arrakhar gulped down their delicious Moojuice, to help his broken body heal up and strengthen. He'd need some power to face down this Gribley Wibley, whatever it was.

At this point they began to get the hang of this crushing things. Wilhelm/Theodor and Arrakhar at the front, ready to pound and chop enemies, and Skorn valiantly in the back, just in case.

"What even is that?! It is hideous!" The Wibley pounded upon the party as the door to the flooded room slid open. Lashing out viciously with tentacles and weird limbs it it both crippled Albie and scared the bejesus out of Wilhelm. As the crew readied a counter attack Gordo uttered a prayer "Gnar lend us fury!"

Being Battle Priests, the leader, in this case Arrakhar can actually invoke a free Wyrd power once per activation. A powerful boon surely first earned now.... or otherwise simply forgotten until this point. I considered a few differnt ones, like giving Arrakhar Bestial Frenzy, Summoning a Wyrdling to aid, but with the close proximity of my fighters and the large area of effect of a Gribley Wiblys attack, there was only one real choice...

Arrakhar howled with rage as the powers of Gnar flooded through him, becoming an overwhelming flood sensation assaulting the Wiblys primitive mind. This powerful Brain Storm would make it near impossible for the fiend to attack him and his friends successfully.

Then Arrakhar put all his strength into an overhead swing to wound this foul creature. And he scored an instant FATALITY! Prompting the excited player to shower the boss with Litko blood tokens, as is tradition.

That was it! Mission complete. A beautiful sacrifice to Gnar, on the bloodied altar of combat. And a reaped reward from their quite surprised employed. With jingle in hands and a plethora of available shops, this must be what success felt like! One thing in particular had peaked their interest, the mention of so called Fire Arms. Burning murder-gauntlets sounded completely like something Gnar would approve of, so they went to search the local shops. Sadly they were in for a surprise. 

But after a quick demonstration of the wicked powers of things like Nuke Rays, Grenade Launchers and Chainguns, they could begin to apprechiate the charm. What they couldn't apprechaite was the pricing. "35 CAPS FOR A FIRE ARM, THAT ISN'T EVEN AN ARM OR ON FIRE?!? BY GNAR I OUGHT TO....!" a the cocking of a gun interrupts him.

So they went on and instead got their wounds treated at a local clinic, as well as Arrakhar having his plate suit improved by local engineers, after a long discussion about the importance of what they described as "structurally unsound ornamentation".

When confronting their boss about them not even being able to afford weapons with their wage, he simply smirked. "If you want guns, I know where you can find some! You see, some of my merchandise has been stolen by armed and dangerous mutants...."